CCH3 Trail #333 ~ Year of the Whores

CCH3 Trail #333

Year of the Whores Birthday Bash Trail

Hares: I Cum in the Land Down Under, Phoof There It Is!, Chia Head, and Lickety Splits Down the Pole

Sharpen your studs and stretch those calves because this Saturday we are riding hard into the Year of the Whores. Some people call it the Year of the Horse, but let’s be honest, we all know what we are really ringing in. Expect neighing, mounting, and a whole lot of heavy breathing before this one is over.

This is a double birthday trail celebrating the emergence of Phoof There It Is! and Chia Head from their respective sacks. They are older, wiser, and somehow still thirsty, so come prepared to give them attention, affection, and possibly a good spanking during circle.

Pre-lube and On-After will be at Mystique Barrel Brewing, where you can get warmed up, loosened up, and rehydrated after the damage is done. The brewery is donating $1 from every beer purchased to Down Under’s campaign, so every sip is both patriotic and slightly scandalous.

Trail Intel
Date: Saturday, January 31
Time: Chalk talk at 3 pee em so show up early and do not pull out late
Location: Mystique Barrel Brewing, 912 Washington Blvd, Baltimore MD

Runners will enjoy a fully live laid trail, about 5ish miles long, with two well placed beer stops to help you catch your breath and regain feeling in your legs. Walkers get a gentler 3ish miles, still long enough to leave you satisfied and maybe a little sore the next day.

There will be lots of railroad tracks. You will be straddling them, crossing them, and getting thoroughly railed more than once. Expect long hard lines, repeated crossings, and that unmistakable feeling of being used by steel and gravel. Watch your step, mind your gaps, and remember that trail always finishes on top.

Bring cash, a vessel, and footwear that can handle being pounded. Dress to feel fast, flexible, and ready to be taken wherever the hares feel like leading you.

On-On, you filthy animals.